Copan Museum of Cows
Overview - People love the ancient ruins and fuck; this town is named after them. Yeah it's touristy. If you had some old ass ruins in your town it would probably be touristy too. It's location, however, Honduras makes it a tad less developed. Backpackers, Spanish language students, do gooders, people who cater towards tourists, bus station attendees, shady restaurateurs and the misguided missionary make Copan their temporary home. I'd estimate about 95% of Copan Ruins economy is based upon tourism. It's almost the little sister of Tecal. Not quite as cool, trying a bit too hard, but incredibly easy.
What is the city know for - Ruins, Macaws and fire cracking' lovin' locals.
Getting There and Away - Copan Ruins is about 2.5 hours from San Pedro Sula. Buses run constantly between the 2 cities. It can run you anywhere between $13 and $7 based upon the transit company. The prices correspond to overall value so I'd suggest the Hedman Alas Luxury bus, unless 110 Limpera is going to break your bank or the schedule doesn't work. Buses are rampant, but each one has their own terminal. This can be a hassle if you're on a tight schedule. All the other major tourist destinations in the surrounding area including Guatemala City, Tecal, Belize and Antigua can easily be reached from Copan Ruins. It's a gateway town for people traveling to and fro Guatemala.
Modes of Transportation while in Town - Walk. Take a public bus for 7 Limpera and visit Santa Rita. Take a tuk tuk.
Parts of Town - This town is a piece of cake. Everything including all lodging, restaurants, Internet cafes, shops, and markets lie within 4 blocks of a central park. The park is the epicenter and the blocks are tiny. In short, there is one neighborhood. The ruins are on the outskirts of town.....an easy walk.
Clubs / Bars - Lots of expatriates and foreign entrepreneurs think this place is the next Shangri La. They hire hot (ok....not so hot) Honduran waitresses to help the local gringos get a buzz on. Some Honduran owners let there 15-year old daughters run the bar. They're usually too busy discovering themselves to give two shits about some awkward American having a cultural awakening. Stick to beer and rum. Go outside those rules and shit gets stupid. Crappy-ass mariachi Karaoke and after hours pool goes down at Camino Maya. Avoid Twisted Tanya's at happy hour. They draw you in with their extensive 2 for 1 drink menu and then load your drink with water. Tanya was actually the one who said stick to beer and rum so this might just be her twisted way of fuckin' with tourists. This review might sound negative, but I've got nothing but love for Tanya.
Food - Gringo places like Jim's Pizza charge you 17-limpera verses 25-limpera if you buy a pizza. Jim is fat and jolly and their pizza is windy city kick ass. La Casa del Maiz has super cheap tacos, but an asinine 3-beer consumption limit. I don't know who the hell can eat 6 chili pupusas without slamming at least a sixer. El Jardin is pretty sweet and has great tortillas. Unfortunately it's on the tourist bus circuit and those cows get their grub before you. When this happens I suggest going out to the bus, smashing a window and taking a shit in someone's fanny pack.
Lodging - If you look like a poor bastard expect to be bombarded by 10-year olds with the alluring offer a $5 rooms. If you really are a poor bastard you'll be intimidated and go with them. In all other cases just keep your wits about you and say you have a place to go. Be aware there are about 40 hotels/hostels with a 10-minute walk of one another around central park. Prices range from $7 (a bare bones double) to $15 (air conditioned) to $40 (sweet). If you want luxury go back to your fuckin' LA Spa. La Posada de Belssy got a rave review from 70-year old couples that know how to get busy. Los Gemelos Hostel's best feature is that it sits next to a sweet convenience store/restaurant/internet café called La Casa de Todo.
Activities - This town ain't no one trick pony. The Ruins take center stage, but the macaw sanctuary and the Museum of Cows (located at the Hacienda El Jaral complex - just past Santa Rita) are what keep people coming back. If you love outdoor trekking I suggest hiking illegally into Guatemala. It's a short 12-mile hike and along the way you'll encounter the poorest fuckers in all of Honduras. I'd bring a pack with a sleeping bag, tent, mat and a knife if you were taking this seriously. Have a bunch of water and a bit of food and head off towards the waterfall in Santa Rita. Any normal person would stop at the Boca (mouth) Waterfall and take an afternoon hike from there. A dumb ass tourist would pay $15 to be taken to the waterfall by a shifty Honduran guide.
Getting Medicated - Getting weed is about as easy as having white skin. The only thing easier would be if you had skin of another color. Unfortunately this weed is probably going to taste like compost unless your hookup is Jamaican friendly. Stick to the safe and almost legal over the counter drugs of Valium and Vicadin. If you don't speak Spanish expect to encounter translation problems. I accidentally bought some colognic meds that had my ass bleeding for a week.
Weirdest Scene - Super AIDS missionaries.