Oaxaca: Revolution Meets Bargain Shopping
Famous for: riots, radish art, gourmet grasshoppers
Overview: Oaxaca is one of Mexico's culturally richest and most economically fucked up states. Most Mexicans think of Oaxaca the way we think of Arkansas, but with high-quality handicrafts. Oaxaca's capital city, redundantly named Oaxaca, is a designated UNESCO World Heritage Site owing to its cobblestone streets, Spanish baroque cathedrals and indigenous artisans. Oaxaca's capital used to be overrun with Teva-clod, camera-wielding gringos, ohing and awing over the bargain-priced, organic-vegetable-dyed rugs and huipiles. However, most of these tourists have been scared off by "el problema," which is how locals sarcastically refer to the complex and deep-routed social-political conflict which erupted in June 2006. If you want to read a thorough, academic discussion of "el problema" go to www.narconews.com. Otherwise, here's the Cliff Notes version.
Cast of characters: Ulises Ruiz Ortiz, aka "URO" or "el pinche puto madre" Oaxaca Governor and tool of the evil PRI party.
Section 22 Radical wing of the national teachers' union. Usually found camped in the town plaza or in the middle of intersections, passing the time between police raids by crocheting and making paper mache effigies of the governor.
APPO (Asamblea Popular de los Pueblos de Oaxaca) Popular government formed in response to the repressive tactics of the Ruiz regime. Made up of teachers and random Che Guevara wannabes. Joins Section 22 in blocking streets, burning buses and graffiti-ing.
PFP (Federal Preventative Police) "restore order" by blocking streets, burning buses and graffittiing, and then blaming it on the APPO.
Plot: When the above groups have their occasional violent clashes, it always attracts a lot of foreign press, but most of the time nothing happens. Unless you are a journalist or somehow directly involved in the problems you'd have to be an idiot to get yourself hurt. Getting Around: Oaxaca has an airport, self-importantly calling itself "Oaxaca-Xoxocotlán International Airport," the "international" designation owing to the four-times-a-week Continental Express flight from Houston. Fortunately, there are also almost hourly connections from Mexico City. Oaxaca also has a ton of buses, which, when they are not burned, range from luxury to full of chickens. Don't confuse the buses that say Centro (the cute, colonial gringo-friendly part of town) with those that say Central (a market which is basically the Heart of Darkness with a lot of cheap shit for sale) unless you're looking for drugs or underage prostitutes (see activities). Private taxis (taxis particulares) are generally safe. Asking the price before you get in will help you not get ripped off. You should be able to get anywhere downtown for 35 pesos or less during the day, or 50 pesos or less after midnight. Collective taxies are much cheaper if you don't mind being crushed into an un-air conditioned vehicle with horny locals.
Activities: You are obligated to the see the Zapotec ruins of Monte Albán, Mitla and Yagul. You are also morally obligated to buy trinkets from puppy-eyed street urchins and drop mucho dollars at the handicrafts markets and artisan villages. Oaxaca's trademark crafts include trippy animal carvings called alejbrijes, black pottery, green pottery and erotic pottery made by the Aguilar sisters of Ocotlán. You can buy these in artisan's villages with unpronounceable indigenous names like Arrazola (alebrijes), San Bartólo Coyotepec (black pottery) Santa Maria Atzompa (green pottery) and Teotitlán del Valle (rugs). You can also get them downtown at the Mercado Benito Juárez and the Mercado de Artesanías, not to mention the infamous Central de Abastos (aka the Heart of Darkness) also the best place to get kidnapped into sex slavery and buy 1-dollar pirate CDs and DVDs.
Food: Traditional Oaxacan cuisine is a long way from Taco Bell. Take the most famous (or infamous) local delicacy: chapulines. These are grasshoppers fried in chile and limejuice. They taste something like shrimp popcorn, but in a good way. Worms, grubs and ants are also considered edible here. But if you prefer your food without antennae, the seven mole sauces are spectacular, as are the tacos, tlayudas (the world's largest tortilla with your choice of toppings) taste bud burning chile rellenos and practically anything else on the menu. Good restaurants abound, although they're mostly overpriced (granted, in Oaxaca this means main courses for more than three dollars). Some of the worthwhile ones are La Biznaga (García Vigil #512), Las Quince Letras (Abasolo #300) and El Naranjo (Valerio Trujano #203). But in general the best food can be found on the street (although not just anywhere if you don't want to end up puking your guts out). I recommend Memelas San Agustín on Calle Guerrero two blocks from the Zócalo. For great, greasy post-bar fare, there's Tlayudas de Libres, on Calle Libres, just follow the noisy drunks. It's also worth the trip out to the Sunday market Tlacolula, about an hour outside the city, to try the barbacoa, or barbequed goat.
Drink: Tequila apparently wasn't strong enough for Oaxacans, so they invented Mescal, an even more potent maguey drink. Don't buy the tourist crap with the little sombreros on the bottles - it tastes like formaldehyde. Go to La Casa de Mescal (Flores Magón across from the Benito Juarez market) or to the village Santiago Matatlán, known as the World Capitol of Mescal. Oaxacans also drink a lot of beer, or "chelas" in the local lingo. Besides the ubiquitous Corona, Indio, Dos Equis and Negra Modelo are what cool people drink (well, what me and crazy Catholic friends drink).
Bars: Free Bar, no cover as the name implies, is usually as packed as a collective taxi with horny young people. Conveniently located across the street, Tentación ("la Tenta") is where aspiring Don Juans go to meet girls from study abroad programs. For some reason these guys are always about five feet tall. The sophisticated expat crowd hangs out at La Central (the nightclub, not to the Hell Mouth) but I prefer bars where I am the only gringo, like the karaoke dive Rincón de la Alameda. There's no way for a gringa to gain street cred (and free chelas) like belting out Timbiriche - the Mexican equivalent of New Kids on the Block. Coco's, on Colon, is also great saloon with cheap whisky and fistfights for entertainment. Your hippie types might like the Fandango, and Casa de Los Perros. Across the street from Casa de los Perros is the gay disco 502 (locally known simply as "el número"). After most downtown bars close at two, descend further into the seedy abyss of Oaxaca nightlife with a trip to La ménage or La Habana. These are supposed to be strip joints, but I regard them more as sex comedy clubs. For example, La Habana has a fat stripper with the exotic stage name of Nebraska.
Disclaimer: You must be forewarned about a dangerous dance trend that has been sweeping Mexico. It's called the Pasito Duranguense. The music is a cross between ranchera and polka and the dance itself resembles the staggering of drunken penguins. If that doesn't paint a picture for you check it out on YouTube. You cannot go out in Oaxaca without witnessing this frightening phenomenon, especially if you venture into clubs like El Rodeo or La Mata.
Getting laid: I think it goes without saying that La Central de Abastos is crawling with prostitutes but you'd have to be a real loser to resort to that when there's so many easy and (even cheaper) ways to get laid. Hell, you don't even have to go to a pickup bar like the Free or La Tenta. All you have to do is walk down the goddamn street and you'll be approached by what is known as a Zócalo Boy or its female counterpart, the Exportadora de Carne (Meat Exporter). These people favor creative pick-up lines like: "What time is it?" and within five minutes subtly progress to eulogizing your eyes. Most are harmless but some Zócalo Boys and Exportadoras de Carne have been known to invite foreigners to the pricey street side cafés and then skip out on the bill.
Events: There is always a party in Oaxaca. Every saint's day is another excuse to get hammered. Some say Oaxaca is the second poorest Mexican state because Oaxacans spend all their money on booze and fireworks. The biggest party of all is the Guelaguetza, the folkloric dance festival celebrated the last two weeks in July. But I think the Vela Muxe, a rowdier version of the Guelaguetza with drag queens, is actually more fun. Also check out The Night of the Radishes, December 23rd, which is not a rave, but an exhibition of radish sculptures. DON'T eat the radishes; they are full of illegal third world pesticides. Then there's always the Days of the Dead (November 2-3). APPO marches can also be a good time until the cops show up.
Lodging: I don't know much about nice hotels because no one I know has the money to stay in them. But I know you shouldn't stay at Marques del Valle because the management is in league with the evil Governor Ulises. El Pochón and El Mescalito are good hostels. Or just put on an earnest revolutionary act and the teachers will probably let you sleep under their tarps.
Getting medicated: It's a foregone conclusion that you can buy anything at the Central de Abastos. It's also easy to cop a bag off the hippies at Casa de los Perros or Café los Cuiles. If you don't mind taking a field trip, Huautla de Jimenez with it's famous 'shrooms is only a four hour, careening-along-sheer-cliffs bus ride away. And don't knock the legal drugs. They never ask for those pesky prescriptions at Oaxaca's many discount pharmacies.
Extreme Sports: "Tumbando al Doctor Simi." At some point during your stay you will be confronted with "Doctor Simi," the chubby dancing doctor mascot of Farmacias Similares. "Doctor Simi," cultural icon and perennial presidential candidate, has inspired the new sport "Tumbando al Doctor Simi," in which youths tackle the dancing docs while their friends film it for YouTube.
Best-kept secret: Safe for tourists
Secret everyone knows: Our beloved governor stole the 2004 election by casting sacks of opposing-party ballots into the Atoyac River, where a farmer later discovered them.
Further reading:
The Night of the Radishes
Muxe culture
Huautla de Jimenez